iAnxiety
I'm a millennial. And I hate my phone.
I've recognized the abusive relationship with my pocket partner for a while now. It's a one-sided, selfish dependence that always leaves me feeling unsatisfied after every engagement. The worst part – as a marketing manager in LA, I am the very self-aware cause of my own digital isolation.
From bricks, to flips, to smart phones, my millennial generation grew up with the mobile device. I feel compelled to add my voice to a growing number of ex-social media executives, politicians, and journalists that have begun to speak up about a very modern problem. The irony that our phones have become anti-social devices.
A 2016 Bank of America study found that nearly 40% of my generation interact with their phones more than their spouse, coworkers, friends parents, and children. In a Pew Research Center study, 82% agreed that mobile use in social settings hurts conversation. Despite this, 89% confessed to using their cellphone in their last social interaction.
We recognize our mobile phones are affecting our ability to connect and socialize with others but do it anyway. We’re a generation of digital addicts. All 75.4 million of us.
Digital dependency stems from a phenomenon known as Networking Effects. Studied extensively by Harvard professor, Bharat Anand, Networking Effects exist when a product or platform gains value as more and more people use it. Smart phones are not a fad. With a 97% penetration in the millennial market, we’re experiencing a massive behavioral change that will affect every subsequent generation.
The networking effects of a 97% adoption rate make ownership of a mobile phone non-negotiable. You can’t function in modern society without one. My work demands one, romance grows out of pixels, and no one owns a landline. A colleague in a recent marketing meeting suggested we HAD to get an Instagram account because literally every company has one. We were missing out.
The addiction is not our fault. The object of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Candy Crush and other apps is to hold our attention. The intent is purposeful. Longer attention leads to more ads served. More ads served means more revenue. More revenue leads to better algorithms, a better user experience, and ultimately more users. Networking Effects.
I’ll offer a personal example. Facebook prioritizes content you’ve interacted with in the past. It tracks every click to better ‘serve’ content that will keep you engaged and on platform. Most recently, Facebook has been serving me activity on my ex-girlfriend. What events she’s going to, status updates, similarly liked posts, photos. Why? Because it knows I’ll engage based on past interaction. I don’t search these out. They are purposefully dropped right into my feed. There is something seriously wrong about a platform that manipulates your emotions to keep you on it.
The head of Facebook marketing bragged that millennials check their mobile phone over 150 times a day. She detailed that the modern state of communication is “a sensory experience of communication that helps us to connect with others, without having to look away”. What’s the key takeaway everyone is missing? Social media offers the experience of communication. Not actual communication.
The result is a society in which we substitute digital messages for actual human connection. The tragedy is our digital interactions do not offer the same benefits as true human connection. In many cases, such as getting served an ex’s photo album from Cabo, it makes one worse.
It’s painful to see my peers deal with the overwhelming anxiety of digital fixation. The fear of missing out. The constant obsessing over photos. The ambiguity of a text message. The selfies. Oh God the selfies.
We are the loneliest generation in human history, and digital isolation is contagious. When one person recedes into their phone, it affects everyone around them. I acknowledge the fact that digital interaction will be a major part of our society moving forward. However, I have learned certain ways to mitigate its adverse effects.
Turn off the notifications. My phone buzzes. I impulsively check. I respond or internalize the notification, but it leads me to a photo, email, or an article. 20 minutes later I’m still there without even realizing the time I’ve spent. The express purpose of each notification is to draw you back into the application. Turn them off. I’ve found it leads to a more mindful use of all my apps. I choose when I use, not my phone.
Actively try to meet up. In person. People have said my texts are short and abrupt. Any match on a dating app leads to an immediate proposed date. I’ve been called a ‘bad texter’. Many of my millennials peers find it shocking. However, I argue that these tools should be used to get me more physical facetime, not less. Sharing a meme in person and receiving an actual laugh-out-loud is so much more rewarding. Care to physically share.
Don’t give kids a mobile phone. I was lucky that my formative years came before the iPhone. I learned to have face to face conversations, be present in a room, and listen effectively. Children need to grow up without the soft glow of the digital screen or risk never developing the ability to authentically connect. Kids need to be awkward. Communication is trial and error.